At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
