I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
