i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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