he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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