i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
