READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
