If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
