I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
