I'm so fucking centered right now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
