I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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