i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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