It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
