I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
