She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im holly from the hills drunk
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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