U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
