So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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