Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
