I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this beer tastes like vomit already
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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