Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
