I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
