It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
