apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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