Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
