He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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