i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
