WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
