i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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