is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
