I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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