So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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