Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
