Your face is a jimmy john
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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