i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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