She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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