Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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