Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just had sex on a roof
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
