I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
how drunk are you?
Several
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
