is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
