I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
