shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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