You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
