Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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