at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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