don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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