you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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