we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
