Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
