That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
