And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He passed out mid-signature
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
