so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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