I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
