I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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